dear

I never hated you. I should- rationally, I know I should. My mum definitely hates you, she’s cried over you, over what you’ve done to me,...

I used to think you were my best friend. You gave me everything. You comforted me in the evenings when life felt so hard, you distracted...

you are a dumb cunt, suck my big toe and choke on it. if I could drive, I’d hit you with a bus. twice. then when you’re in the hospital,...

burn in hell why me why did it have to be me why do u make me suffer and ruin all my life. since teenage years ED why cant u just leave...

We've been together a long time..Longer than most of the people who are currently in my life. My friends, my husband, my children...yet...

I know why you appeared in those years of growing up in the clinical embrace of CAMHS. Looking back at those years with jaded and adult...

fuck you, you fucking piece of shit. i wanna be thin, i wanna be skinny, but i don't want you. make me skinny without fucking around with...

What have you done to me? Until a bit ago, when recovery stumbled across my broken self, I was an entirely different person. I shunned...

This is a letter to you... You grabbed hold of me when you knew I was the most vulnerable, you knew I wasn’t able to fight back. I can’t...

Can you help me? I want to lose weight the same way I did when I was a good anorexic. God do I miss being anorexic especially the...

You promised me so many things... happiness, being comfortable with my body, a life worth living, and so much more. So where are all of...

I'm not going to give you a name or admit to your existence until you're undeniable. As much as I hate you I want you to take more from...

I was supposed to be a on a fast. It's midnight and I just ate three Oreos. I hate myself so much. I don't know what I am doing with my...

There's nothing on this planet that is more contradicting than you are. All of your advice isn't rational. Yet who am I to disobey you?...

Fuck you. I hate you. I want to live a beautiful life. Why are you always in the way? Go away. Fuck off. I want out.

Can you help me? I want to lose weight the same way I did when I was a good anorexic. God do I miss being anorexic especially the...

You’ve grown with me. You’ve evolved as I’ve evolved and you’ve never left my side. As my goals changed, you changed shape, too. But you...

Thank you for coming into my life. You gave me an escape when I was trapped in a constant groundhog day cycle of self loathing and pain....

It was you. You killed my daughter. You lied to her and she believed you and if it wasn't for you, she would be here today with me. But I...

I want my mummy to love me. You told me the only way she would is if I am skinny. You told me she gave birth to my baby sister because I...