Dear Anorexia

Thank you for coming into my life. You gave me an escape when I was trapped in a constant groundhog day cycle of self loathing and pain. You muted the voices that screamed abuse at me everyday. You gave me a reason for why I was sad when I knew I had ‘no reason to be sad, others have it worse’. You gave me hope that I could be okay with being me, when I had always wished I were someone different. So thank you for that.

I will always follow your advice and be loyal to you. I don’t want to go back to self-hate. I will stop eating when you tell me to, I will lose weight when you tell me to. I will achieve all your goals and make you proud. All I ask is you promise me one thing in return? If I end up in hospital because I obeyed you, will you promise me my family will care enough to show me that finally, finally I deserve to be loved?

Much love,

Hannah